What is the first thing Lance / Ullrich and the boys look for at the beginning of the season, when they have all returned from a long rest and their winter training session? Is it the new bikes and latest gizmo’s, the size of their carves…? Yes these factors are considered but the most important indicator as to whether their competitor is looking strong and going to be a real contender is the size of their behind! Yes their buttocks! This is the first thing to tell how much time in the saddle one has spent during the off season!
This too is the one factor which causes most Cape Epic riders the most grief, there are numerous housewife tales going around how to prevent your behind from ruining your race!
- Change your saddle, the harder narrow the better
- Change your shorts, only the very best Italian shamie is worth it!
- Apply milking cream used for milking cows!
- Apply mentholated spirits 3 weeks prior to the start!
- Use a coke bottle to…..sorry won’t go into details!
What has Team LPG done to protect their sensitive parts?
- Richard changed his saddle, today, less than a week to the start!
After repeatedly waking up from night mares of having to use the coke bottle he has replaced his wide ladies saddle with a narrow hard plank!
- The team is off to the shops tomorrow to purchase the state of the art cycling shorts! Sorry not Italian but locally produced Capestorm kit!
- Richard has gone through half a bottle of meths and says that it is making his behind softer!
So no this is not the end of this topic but for now I think that is enough!
Watch this space!
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